A Mother's Last Embrace

Today was the last set of school distributions! 

~ Adarsha HSS, Sanothimi ~ 

These two boys were a lot of help with crowd control! Every time the drums rang, all the students started to respond with different hand and feet movements. It was all synchronized! Super impressive. After all of these school distributions, we have noticed that at each school there is always a super military style PE teacher that does drills with the students. It is the most effective way to control the chaos that we have seen so far! It was really quite a sight! Thank you drummer boys!

These children are so cute! Super dynamic and loved to participate in all of our planned activities! Every child wanted to know what my name was, where I came from, and if I could sign their HANDS????!!!??? haha, yes you heard it right! All the children rushed up to us after the ceremony, asking for our autographs! It was insane! I was afraid that I was going to hurt their hands and arms with the pen, but they were all super happy about it! The simple pleasures in life! Thank you children for making me feel like a giant superstar today!!! When really, you guys are the bright shining superstars!!!! Love you all! <3

In the afternoon, we all went to visit 10 new Bagiswori cases. We split into four different groups to be able to visit all the cases at the same time. We were all on foot this time, which was an awesome opportunity to go and explore the surroundings! We ended up walking in the fields and completely were immersed in farm land.  There were lots of rice fields and many people at work. It was really a serene feeling. Just walking on the dirt road with no worries at all! Such a nice feeling!  

One of the case visits was of 14 year old *Titi! All of these educational cases were referred to us by their school teacher. The teacher is someone who is very compassionate about helping others and especially his students. After the earthquake, many students lost their family members and close friends, so the teacher really wanted to help them walk out of the dark shadows. This was especially true in the case of *Titi. During the earthquake, *Titi's whole family was caught under the rubble of the massive earthquake, but everyone escaped with only slight injuries. Everyone except her mother. She lost her mother in the earthquake and has ever since been unable to come out of the dark shadows of her immense sorrow. You can clearly see it in her eyes, her facial expressions and her posture. Everything about this girl screamed sadness and in pain. When I saw her, my heart was aching for her loss. When she spoke to us, she didn't look at us, she just looked at the floor the whole entire time. When asked about what had happened on the day of the earthquake, she would go quiet, and then stare out into the distance. The teacher told us that he found *Titi, not so long after the earthquake had happened, completely on her knees in the rubble, crying her eyes out and calling out for her mother. She was inconsolably sobbing and just in complete shock of what had happened. She has three older brothers and her father was a teacher, but now has retired due to illness. So due to her mother's passing, she is now the motherly figure of the household and also the main cook and cleaning person. She goes to school during the day and cooks all three meals for her entire family. 

Life is not easy when you are living in a half-way abandoned building and noise is a huge problem. Although they are not in a tent camp, they are still living in a very cramped up space with multiple families all around them. The only partitions that exist between residents are blankets and plastic tarps. She was telling me how she loves math and science in school, but ever since their house collapsed, she has not had the time nor the energy to concentrate on her studies. She says that there are too many children in this open area, running and screaming all the time, she cannot really read and write well. My heart was hurting. This little girl was so mature for her age and even through heart ache, she was still fulfilling her duties as a daughter, sister, and a student to the best of her knowledge. When so many children around the world are complaining about how their parents aren't buying things they want for them, picky about the food they are eating, wanting the latest electronics, wanting to go on vacation to a resort, and always taking the chance at education for granted. All *Titi wanted was to be able to have a safe and quiet place to study, so that she will have a chance at a better future. She wants to be a nurse in the future and help more people in need. After an hour of talking to *Titi, she opened up more and more. It was as if I was seeing an onion being peeled layer by layer as the time ticked on. I held her hands and looked straight into her eyes. I told her that I know losing her mother is an unimaginable pain and that if she wanted to cry and feel sad, it was okay. It is normal to feel that way. But I told her, after crying for a while, she needs to come out of that sorrow, because her mother wouldn't want to see her stay that way. That her mother would want to see her smiling and keep on living happily. I told her that even though her mother is no longer with us, she is looking over her and will always be in her heart. That she will always be her mother's daughter, no one can ever change that. At this point, she gave me one of the biggest smiles ever and said, "I know, I can feel her with me everyday." 

I gave her the biggest hug in the world and told her that she is never alone. There are many people in this world that care and love her. That even though she lost her mother, but now she has gained an older sister! I told her just how incredibly proud I am of her and that she needs to stay strong and keep her head up. She is such a brave little girl and I can see her doing many great things. She is very intelligent and I truly believe she will come out of this even stronger. She fell into my arms and I could feel all of her being just collapsed into me. It was as if her soul was trying so hard to merge with my soul. It was an indescribable feeling. No words. Only pure emotions. I didn't need to look at her. I could feel her heart smiling, and it was a smile from deep within. Her heart opened finally for the first time in a long time and I was very grateful that I could be there to help her through this tough phase in her life. She told me that she hasn't hugged anyone in a really long time, the last person being her mother. I held her in my arms for a long while and I told her that she just take all the time that she needed. I was going to be there for her. Even though I cannot fill that emptiness in her heart where her mother once was, but I can patch it up with other positive things to heal her wound. I promised that I would come back and visit and this is a promise that I will keep. 

STAY STRONG MY DEAR *TITI! YOU ARE NEVER ALONE!